TLDW WrestleMania 36 Part 1

Because they insist on doing this show anyway, it’s Too Long Didn’t Watch WrestleMania (part 1).

• The difference between the Kickoff Show and the actual show is…pass

Seriously, no idea

• The formerly crazy Scottswoman and the former mean girl beat the Kabuki girls
• Elias actually has a match at WrestleMania and beats Baron Corbin.

Pictured with all the fans in attendance

• No one cared.
• Becky Lynch beats the vampire.
• The Sami Zayn-Daniel Bryan match almost had enough run ins to legally shut down the show
• The tag titles were defended in a three way singles match because reasons

Kofi Kingston’s hair brought to you by Silly String

• Mojo Rawley wins a belt because we haven’t suffered enough.
• Kevin Owens about kills himself in front of no audience. Just like everyone on Impact.

Walking away not guaranteed

• 4 spears, 4 powerslams, Braun Strowman beat up an old man.
• The Undertaker and AJ Styles star in a short movie about magic and burying people alive.

This for 15 minutes

TLDW AEW Revolution

Because WWE doesn’t own everything yet, it’s Too Long, Didn’t Watch: AEW Revolution!

• The event seems to be taking place inside a computer screen on CSI

Enhance!

• AEW is steadily becoming ROH from 15 years ago

Scotty Goldman returns

• Good guy ends up being good guy, which is somehow surprising
• The All American American submits sober Black Reign
• Misfits cosplayer defeats small boy

You were thinking it

• Four friends have a skirmish, the two guys who don’t overuse superkicks win. As they should.
• Tag Team Champions already teasing split. It’s been 4 months.
• Some asshole’s favorite wrestler defeated fellow woman to retain Women’s Title

One of them is still on pay per view

• Cody faces the kid you always wanted to punch in high school
• Cody has a new job-stopper neck tattoo
• MJF has a foot fetish
• Cody is the Brooklyn Brawler with better hair

And a lot more blood

• The angriest Welshman since Christian Bale defeated a sloth in denim

Actual picture

• Chris Jericho Version 25 defends the World Title against Long Jon Moxley

ARGH!

• The biggest star in AEW finally has the World Title. Jericho now free to tour with his rock band or any of the other hundred things he does.

TLDW Royal Rumble 2020

Because Brock Lesnar can’t beat up himself, it’s Too Long, Didn’t Watch.

• The pre show reminds you Brock Lesnar is the only star WWE has anymore
• Roman Reigns and Baron Corbin is reaching Bret Hart-Jerry Lawler feud length
• Ads for the WWE Network on the WWE Network.

Approves

• WWE hypes up Kofi’s inevitable near elimination spot that he’ll do before he doesn’t win
• Baron Corbin and Roman Reigns work together to destroy every announce table that doesn’t speak English
• Roode and Ziggler interfere because the sun came up this morning

Third stooge had other commitments

• Usos respond because of course they do
• Camera focuses on 4 guys who aren’t in the match instead of the 2 that are
• Baron Corbin gets thrown into a porta potty…indoors…alright
• To recap: this feud has involved dog food AND shit

Modern classic

• Roman Reigns pins a guy on top of a dugout
• Samoa Joe and Kevin Owens fight like they’re both going for the same corn dog
• Sonya Deville doesn’t know how the Royal Rumble works
• WWE is more respectful of Kobe Bryant than half of my Facebook feed

BUY WWE SHIT

• A woman hasn’t won from the #1 position in the illustrious (3 year) Women’s Royal Rumble history

Circa 2018

• Alexa Bliss vs. Hair Whip to start out
• Molly Holly’s still alive, so there’s that
• Lana does a promo all the way to the ring. Worst theme ever.
• Mercedes Martinez comes out looking like a bondage porn version of Darth Vader
• Liv Morgan and Lana commit domestic violence
• Mandy Rose is saved by a fat guy. Can’t believe I just typed that.

Fat Guy

• Dana Brooke comes out and the  crowd goes “meh”
• Tamina counts as a surprise entry because most people are surprised she still works there
• Vince McMahon wants to remind us how much he REALLY likes Charlotte
• Kelly (Redundant) makes a return

This, but pretend it’s 2020

• Sarah Logan doesn’t know Sanity broke up
• Charlotte’s nose bleeds like Ric’s forehead
• Zelina Vega comes out dresses like Shredder

Approves menacingly

• Santina lasted longer in the Rumble than Santino did that one time
• Naomi really takes advantage of the “not technically the floor” loophole
• Charlotte Flair wins another match because she’s Charlotte Flair. Also news, fire hot.

Charlotte defeats fire

• Emo Bailey in full effect
• There’s literally 3 people cheering for Lacey Evans
• Bray Wyatt and Daniel Bryan have a really good strap match. Really, watch it.
• The Brock Lesnar Gauntlet Match begins
• Elias took so long to get to the ring, he entered the 2021 Rumble
• Erick Rowan’s mystery pet would have done better than he did
• John Morrison’s return to the Royal Rumble lasted 9 whole seconds

Better than Kofi’s title match

• 10:10-34 10 German Suplexes
• Drew McIntyre gets the pop of the night
• WWE cameras miss Edge’s first spear in 9 years
• Drew McIntyre wins the f$#@ing Royal Rumble. Read that again.

Rest of 3MB collecting cans outside arena

Bottom 5 Worst Wrestling Themes

On the flipside, let’s do what we do best and talk about the worst wrestling themes. Throughout time, it’s no surprise there are more than a few bad wrestling themes. Whether it’s a bad song, the tune just doesn’t fit the wrestler, or it has a terminal case of being too generic, there are many reasons why a wrestling theme can be bad. With that in mind, let’s look at some of the very worst.

Crown Jewel 2025

Live from Riyadh, Saudi Arabia, it’s Crown Jewel 2025.

Bottom 10 Worst Wrestling Managers

At Exploder, we like to do things a little different. Instead of looking at the top this or that, we’re honest and look at the bottom, the worst of the worst. Because while many have a great memory of Bobby Heenan and pretty much everyone who he hasn’t tried to kill has a great story about Jim Cornette, there are a litany of just awful managers along the way.

With that in mind, here is our list of the Bottom 10 Worst Wrestling Managers.

Forgotten: The New Generation

The history of the WWE is a long and storied one. From its genesis as Capitol Wrestling Corporation by Jess McMahon (Great Grandaddy McMahon) and Toots Mondt (toughest man you’d ever meet named Toots) to its current position as the overbearing monolith that strikes fear in the hearts of indy promoters nationwide, the WWE has quite a story to tell.

Conveniently, WWE’s history has been subdivided into different eras to help you better understand it better. Or it’s arbitrary designation. Either way.

Anyway, one of these well defined eras is that of the New Generation, which stretched from 1993 until late 1997. The New Generation was a time where the WWF was going through a transition from the big, roided up monsters of the 80s to the smaller, better technically sound wrestlers of the early 90s. That and lawsuits. Transitions and lawsuits.

The Bischoff Question

I want to start this off by saying two things: First, I don’t know Eric Bischoff personally, only his public persona. And second, based on his public persona, I don’t hate him. Based on the facts, he has had ups and downs like everyone else in the wrestling business, whether wearing a suit or a pair of tights.

That said, with his recent release from WWE as an executive producer, one which makes him an employee and therefore presumably subject to a 90 day no compete, some are asking the usual question.

Send in the Clown

Since everyone else is doing it, we here at Exploder are doing an article on a devious clown. Well kinda…at first. Let me explain. While everyone else is talking about Joaquin Phoenix playing a psychotic clown, I’m talking about the other psychotic clown who inspired countless copycats in the real world. That’s right, I’m talking about Doink.

Hell in a Cell 2019

I’ll be honest with you, I didn’t watch Hell in a Cell. Like any of it. I forgot it was on, I realized about halfway through, then remembered there was nothing I was looking forward to, so I didn’t turn it on. I could have, but I didn’t. And, judging by the results, I don’t feel like I missed anything. More and more, pay per views seem to be Pay Per RAW, slightly longer shows that are as inconsequential as the RAW and/or SmackDown that preceded it.